Miscarriage

So it seems I am the statistic…

1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, missed abortion or stillbirth.  I have 3 wonderful children. But I often think about the one I lost. 

I had what is known as a missed abortion. My baby died while in the womb but my body did not expell her. I had to go through the process of believing I was still carrying a live baby and when they could not find a heartbeat I had to go through a vaginal ultrasound to try to find the heartbeat. They never found it. She was gone. I wasn’t far enough along to have to actually give birth to her. Which i am sure is much harder than what I had to endure.  I had to go through what is known as a D & C. (Dilation and curettage) The removal of the tissue from a miscarriage.

This happened to me in 1991. Computers were not in every home. My family was poor and had no computer or knowledge of any support groups. I mention this because myself and many many other women went through our losses alone with little to no support. Today we have computers in almost every home and phone that connect to the Internet. We have support groups right at our fingertips. 

Here are a couple of links for those of you that do not know where to look or are too depressed to look. 

http://miscarriage.supportgroups.com/

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Miscarriage-Stillbirth/support-group

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-loss/miscarriage-surviving-emotionally/

I still think about her and miss her. I wish I had all 4 of my children with me today. But the fact is I do not. I will never get to hold her or hear her laugh, read her books, take her to her first day of school, graduate high school, get married or have children of her own. I still get tears for her… And I always will. I think it is healthy to grieve for your loss. Just try real hard not to let it consume you. Your child would not want that for you. 

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