Chapter 2

Let’s see if I can remember stuff from 1st grade to 4th grade…

We lived in several places. There was a house I remember in Springfield, my grand parents farm in Warrensburg and a trailer in Warrensburg also the my step grand parents place in Arkansas. I know we lived other places but I do not remember them. I barely remember bits and pieces of these. Out of these I remember bits and pieces of school but not a whole lot.  But I will tell you what parts I do remember. I hope I get the timelines right but these are all things that happened in  my life from my own point of view from the ages of 6 to 9 or 10.

I remember living on Calhoun street in Springfield. Went to 2 different schools while we lived in that house. (Boyd and Berry) While at Boyd I remember my sister (who was 2 years older than me) got stripped butt naked by some older girls jealous over the fact that her boobs had already come in. I was a ton skinnier that her but I had to block to get her home. Another incident that happened was to me this time…A sixth grader lifted me up and let me go but the issue was that she lifted me over the back part of the desk chair. Legs on either side so when I fell my crotch landed on the back of the seat. I was wearing a white dress that day and I ended up being damaged and was bleeding bad enough that I had to go to the hospital. First experience of having someone looking closely at my private parts.

We used to go to a park nearby and get fed and do crafts like macramé. I remember the hamburgers and milk we used to get. I loved those programs. With kids always hanging at the park it brought out the weirdos and that brings me 2 different memories… First there was this guy that used to stand right inside the doorways to the bathrooms (before there was an actual door put on those entrances) and he would have is pants down to flash all of us kids his junk.  And one time while walking home from the park I was stopped by a car asking if I knew a girl and as I walked closer to his car I noticed he was masturbating. I was a very lucky girl that I was not snatched up by one of these perverts.

We were members of a Pentecostal church on National. I best friend was Cindy. Her mom and my mom were friends and we would frequently spend the night with each other and our families would spend holidays together. We read the bible together and we both finished reading the entire bible during the time we were in Sunday school together. I got a pink bible with purple lettering on it. Cindy’s family had some great dane dogs 3 or 4 I think. I just remember they were very large. Isn’t it odd that I can remember my address on Calhoun and her address on Texas but I hardly remember anything else.

While living on Calhoun my mother was married to my little brothers dad. He was not a very nice man. He once made me drink a large glass of alka seltzer. Not sure why but I had to finish the entire glass. I threw it up shortly after. He also made my sister and I give him dirty kisses at bedtime. Then one day when we got up there was a butcher knife stuck in the middle of the kitchen table and my mom was gone and my sister was shipped off to stay with my moms parents and I was shipped off to stay with my brother and my step grandparents in Arkansas. (I have always resented that I was sent to those people they were not my blood and they treated me as such)

So for the next school year I lived with my step grandparents. It was ok but there was a couple of moments…I had to cut my hair to keep her happy and this one time when my brother wanted to me to play with him and I said no I didn’t feel like it. Well, I got my butt paddled until it was bruised. (Just for not wanting to play with my little brother) Maybe I had a tone in my voice or something? I don’t know,,,I just know he is almost 5 years younger than me and I did not want to play with him and got paddled for it. I was about 7 years old. We would pick corn from the corn fields and then we would sit and shuck the corn and grandma would cut the corn off of the cob. I was not thrilled too much about all of this but I did learn a thing or two.

My next set of memories is us living in Warrensburg…Part of it was at my grandma and grandpas and part was at some trailer that my mom rented. School was a country school and wasn’t very big. Multiple grades in one classroom. I loved living on the farm best of all of the places I lived. I loved being outside. I loved roaming the fields and riding my bike around the large country block on the dirt roads. I used to carry a coin purse that I had shoved cabbage leaves and other vegetables in to snack on thoughout the day. I know I was an odd child but I truly enjoyed most vegetables at that time. Still do!

During this time my mom was dating a fireman and he good to all of us kids. We loved him. HE was a very nice man that treated us and our mom well. He even took us to Worlds of Fun. He bought me a red pleather jacket that I just loved! We used to go fishing with him at our grandparents pond.

We always had fun at my grandparents house. We got play with our cousins Becky, Timmy and Jeffy. I don’t know if they are really my cousins or if they were cousins by marriage to my uncle Butch but when their mom left my uncle I never saw my cousins again. I have no love for my uncle Butch…when I was 8 we were living in a trailer in Warrensburg and he came and stayed with us. I used to just love uncle Butch until this one night.  We stayed up one night watching tv when he started to ask me questions about my private area. He wanted to take a look at it. He pulled down my underwear and sat me on the are of the couch and kneeled down to look at it. He asked me if any one had ever looked at it or had ever touched it. I sheepishly responded “no” he then proceeded to lick my private area until I squirmed. After that I went to my moms room and woke her up and told her what happened. She told me to go to bed and she would deal with it in the morning. Nothing was ever done about it. I didn’t understand why I had to continue to be around him at every family gathering. But I just figured my mom didn’t believe me and that was that. (At this point I have the understanding that my mom was on medication and she was prone to sleep talk and sleep doing a lot of things and says she has no remembrance of that conversation)

I am realizing that I truly do not remember much of my childhood. I am sitting here trying to remember anything from age 9…The only thing I have come up with is a fleeting moment with that fireman that my mom dated when he took us to Worlds of Fun. I do not remember that day just that we went there. I only remember that red pleather jacket that I received after that.  The next thing I remember is my mom moving us back to Springfield and us living with my church friends dad as he and my mom were now together. I didn’t even know they were even dating. `

Crazy mom and grandmother

Yep that’s mine and a lot of other family’s. So lets get the show on the road with stories of the kind of some crazy things that mine are capable of.

My mother (bless her heart) is a little on the crazy side. She was an RN. My daughter is currently living with her with her 3 daughters and her girlfriend visits on the days she doesn’t work. It is a long distance relationship right now. Anyways my daughter is getting on her feet and staying with my mother and my mother has been asking a lot of questions about girl on girl intimacy and what that was all about. My married mother was getting into conversations with my daughter and her grand daughter about sex… and my daughter really doesn’t want to discuss sex with her grandmother. But she insists on the convos. My mother even goes into conversations with her girlfriend about this stuff. She gets uncomfortable with it too. My mother just met this girl about a month ago. But nothing is off limits for my mother. So my daughter is in the medical field as an aide. Her girlfriend is also in the medical field. Now mind you that nothing is off limits for my mother…heck she dropped her drawers (pants) for the UPS guy to show him the bruises on her legs…has asked my daughter to do things that yes aides and medical people do. But most people do not want to do these types of things to their able walking grandmother. My mother never texted and my daughter got a text actually several texts begging for help from my mother and when you get the text help from an older person that has fallen before that seem desperate and then doesn’t answer their phone you go to them. She pulls up and my mother is standing in the window of the kitchen sink rinsing off dishes. My daughter was thinking WTF. But went in to see what was going on. She was saying she was impacted and needed an enema… yes an enema. My daughter told her no but my mother grabbed her arm and begged her saying she was very ill and had to have one… to that happened…but that wasn’t enough… she then asked after that and nothing came of it to check her for an impaction.   And I am not kidding about that. An impaction is where you cannot go number 2 for too long. Anyways my daughter once again said no…but once again my mother begged like she wouldn’t live if my daughter did not do this… so of course my daughter obliged. But in the process my daughter tells her there is nothing impacted and my mother replies go deeper…LMAO…sorry but I cracked up laughing when my daughter told me this. She told my mother she could not go any deeper and that she was done. She left and that was it. It is sad that I had to have a conversation with my mother about the boundaries that she should have with her grand daughter. And with that she still didn’t get why but agreed to not cross that boundary again. So now she is asking her girlfriend. lol

That is just one example of my mothers antics. She doesn’t even know or realize what she is saying or doing. She is on so many medications that half the time she doesn’t even stay awake for a visit. She gets lucid for the doctors so they do not understand what we are saying when we try to tell them she is not herself 90% of the day. She has gotten a little better since her husband retired last October. But he still isn’t around as much as she would like. So it is starting to get worse again until my daughter moved in… there is no privacy in that house. My mother will go back at all times of the night and knock on their door until someone answers and then is like were you trying to sleep…I am sorry and would then continue to talk and talk and talk…I get she is lonely but her neediness makes everyone sneak out and everyone avoid coming over. Then she gets upset about that. And I have much much more. .. just stay tuned.